About COVID.best

It's hard to pick just one moment where it all went batshit crazy...

... but I reckon this comes close.

Watching this series of photos pop up on news sites across the world, unironically, it felt like we had slipped into an alternative timeline. It was oddly symbolic in a way... two and a third grifters plying their wares on the lawns of one of the greatest and most recognisable symbols of democracy in the world today.

Even former president George W Bush, who stood on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln 23 years ago to declare "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" in Iraq, would have cringed at the thought.

LAB LEAK!

When I first saw the redirected COVID.GOV website, I honestly thought it had been hacked. The poorly photoshopped, shamelessly cheesy graphic... the FREE Google fonts... the blue drop shadow thing (web design is my passion)... it simply had to be some sort of a joke. But as we have seen, more and more with the second Trump administration, idiocy becomes plausible and deniable. In this version of the Whitehouse, asinine notions are given wings to fly and spread. This seemed like a good idea to someone, and noone questioned it.

Something something Lunatics something something asylum

For the reality TV show formerly known as The Whitehouse, casting controversial housemates has been a ratings winner. On the one hand, we feel pity for Trump's closest advisor Laura Loomer, a woman steadily being consumed by body dismorphia and plumped up with now heavily tariffed Chinese filler, the very same woman that spread far-right conspiracies about 911, and is implicated in the eviction of "disloyal" housemates employed by the NSA and US Cyber Command. There's RFK, Sectretary of Health and Human Services, caught on camera at a dinner in July of 2023 telling fellow diners that “COVID-19 is targeted to attack Caucasians and Black people”. NRA Spokesboobs and Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem loves to visit schools and tell 8 year-old kiddies how much fun it is to shoot defenseless animals to death, including your puppy that "you never really liked". Attorney General Pam Pondi, who leaves her purse lying around and gets it stolen while she's at the bar getting a round of Martinis, and refuses to say that Joe Biden won the 2020 election. How about Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth, doesn't seem to understand the importance of end-to-end encryption applied to sensitive military communications, and probably thinks it would be much easier if everyone just used MySpace Forums instead.

And let us not forget Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, who stages press conferences where she asks for questions from the gallery, only to immediately end the press conference. The rest of the time, she is fielding pre-written questions from Trump's hand-picked "new media" psycophants and answering as per the script given to her. The sessions are comically farcicle.

The truth (shaking head), and The Truth (nodding)

One can only conclude that the GOP is now in a post-truth era, or perhaps a new truth era, where anything generally considered fact is now up for debate. Every day now, President Trump makes demonstrably false statements: "Tariffs are reducing prices already!", "We won 2020!", and "Ukraine started it!".

In this post-truth era, the COVID "Lab Leak" claim once only peddled by far-right conspiracy nutters, the sort of nutters who are over-represented in Trump's administration and inner circle, becomes an open-and-shut case.

WE SEE YOU! SHILL! COMMUNIST!

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but this half-assed piss-take of a web page is the work of just one guy with a low tolerance for pseudoscience and conspiracy theory bullshit, and an even lower tolerance for fascism. As much as I'd love to be handed fifty grand from the PROC Government for my efforts, no remuneration has been forthcoming, thus far.

If you want to call it "satire", then I would thank you for reading this far. If you wish to call this "activism" then hey, knock yourself out.

This "mockformation" exists purely because I had a few spare hours over Easter, and watching an authoritarian lunatic with a head like a Cheeto attempt to rewrite facts using government resources to further his unwholesome goals, really pissed me off.

If you like this sort of thing, then I encourage you to create your own work, and spread it far and wide. In these weird and uncertain times, showing these people for the serial liars and conmen they are is not just a community service, it's a duty. They deserve our mockery, our distrust, our scorn.

They do not deserve our respect.

A functioning, robust democracy requires a healthy, educated, participatory followership, and an educated, morally grounded leadership

- Chinua Achebe

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